I feel like shutting down this blog but something inside tells me not to and i'll probably feel very stupid a few days later. argh.. confusion in my brain... cant seem to think properly nowadays. getting that "detached" feeling some people always talk about. sometimes i rant on and on on my blog and then delete it at the end because i feel incredibly stupid. other times i decide i cant be bothered by the things that initially bothered me. i dont like the feeling of having my emotions determined by the actions and feelings of other people.

yesterday was my 4th month to the date i enlisted. and today marks the end of 18 long weeks. 86 more to go.