The sunday night blues. the dreaded end of the weekend. i really miss the monday afternoons of 2006. hanging around the bleachers and library and storeroom was something to look forward to whenever the feeling of gloom on the sunday night before started to appear. now, all i look forward to is... the upcoming friday night.. 5 very long days away... looking at the bigger context of the next 20 months or so, i barely see the light at the end of a very very long tunnel. the week that just passed wasnt a great week.

when you've been found unconscious at the bottom of the stairs, ambulanced to A&E, hospitalised for the night, lost consciousness again, put on long term medication, gotten allergic to that medicine, the ulcers so painful that you start tearing while trying to sleep, hospitalised again, fed liquid glucose through a tube because you cant eat with all the ulcers covering the throat and lips, rashes on hands and legs, sore eyes, given six tablets to force down every few hours and placed on a different medication, all within the space of the last nine months, it really gives you a perspective of whats important in life. a lot of pain and a lot of time to think about what in life is really worth pushing yourself for. i just wish some people could see it from the way i do. i will not stretch myself to please everyone. i will not feel obliged to do something which i feel is unnecessary. i will not allow myself to be pushed by the rat race of this world. the only person who can push me is God. and God doesnt push me; He carries me in the palm of His hand.