I hate having to argue not because i have nothing to say but because i just dont know how to put what i feel into words. i prefer to leave my opinions in a rough, foggy state in a corner of my brain. but of course, having to debate forces me to stir up my thoughts and iron them out in a convincing way. but then some other person brings up a point that totally shoots my opinion down even before i can say it. the end result is this low feeling that sucks. not to mention the frustration of why dont people see things the way i do. and then i wonder why i care so much. why not just shut up and sit in a corner to absorb everything. i really hope the participants on the arena had fun because quite frankly, i dont see how they can derive joy in a verbal sparring match. i guess the whole point of arguing, apart from forcing your point across, is how fast you can think on your feet and how quickly you counter what has been said. and i am absolutely hopeless at doing that. i need to spend time thinking about things before i can come up with a counter argument. so thats what blogs are supposed to be for. for me to go on and on about what i feel about a certain topic at my own time and pace without any vultures to pick at what i say the instant i say it. and then i think again, and realise that i dont really want to rant about it. why cant my blog be filled with happy and funny stuff instead of situations that require every bit of inner strength to suppress the frustration that was built up. maybe if i leave it as it is, the moment will pass by and all will return back to normal. it was like as though nothing happened and we can all smile again. something is holding me back from saying what i really want to say. i dont know what it is. i shall resist the urge and stop ranting.

i admire C******, aka P****'s blogging style. i used to get quite fed up trying to understand her entries. in the end, i think i have found out what blogs are for. if you understood what was written, then the post was meant for you to see. otherwise, then well, it wasnt. that way, we dont have to continually worry about how other people interprete what we write.