Just for the sake of blogging, i took a look at my archives, specifically what i wrote in february 2006 - exactly two years ago. i realise i was really happy and secure then.

2.02.2006 21:54
"Heaven has everything" hmm..those three words just struck me. i never really thought of it. my idea of heaven had always been streets of gold and angels flying around singing and playing the harp, but heaven really has everything.. everything good.. there will be no more sadness.. i can smile everyday.. no more disappointments no more hurts no more pains no more defeat no more lost hope.. i can smile and laugh forever.. imagine how fun joining the mutlitudes of angels in the massive choir.. and if theres such a thing about heaven's band.. we can play forever and never feel tired.. imagine the perfect intonation, precise rhythm and sweet melodies..there will be no night.. time no longer exists for everything would be in God's time.. everybody will be a saint.. everyone will love and feel loved.. everyone will be perfect.. everybody will be happy.. you will be happy.. i will be happy
i remember someone told me that was the most beautiful post i had ever written. reading it again, i think so too. i want to experience perfect happiness.

2.03.2006 23:32
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice growing old with you

I'll miss you I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll Need you I'll Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

awww... sigh...
"awww...." because the song is so nice. "sigh..." because i did not have anyone to sing the song to.. valentines day was round the corner.. two years on, there's still nobody to sing it to...

2.10.2006 21:51
I've never really thought about it until these few weeks. I thank God for my friends. The ones who help me, make fun of me, talk to me, share with me, laugh with me, advise me, etc above all.. true friends accept me for who i am. thanks people..

2.13.2006 21:18
To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction. - Antoine de Saint Exupery
To all couples happy valentine's day.. the one day where your other half is exceptionally sweet to you.. and to everybody else who are single, its ok i empathise with you.. you can always think about me haha.. well valentine's day is turning into another christmas sort of day.. everyone being very sweet to everyone else.. some guys are buying flowers for every girl they know.. that is politically correct but financially questionable.. so the best is dont do anything.. yeah it sounds really stingy but flowers arent a way to a girl's heart in my opinion.. i think words matter more than anything else.. the flowers will fade and die; chocolates melt and get eaten.. but as with Christmas, words stay.. anyhow it doesnt matter what happens tomorrow.. i have experienced the ultimate love from the great I Am up above.. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails...- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
There are two groups of people on valentine's day. the happy and the sad. no need to say who the happy people are. but its pretty obvious the sad people are trying to be happy. i think that anyone who goes around saying they are satisfied being single, especially on that day itself, is lying because deep down inside, they all have a tinge of sadness/envy/bitterness that they try to cover up. me included. all wondering when the day will come.

Feb 2008. Feb 2010? all the what ifs and if onlys.