Of late.. i've been thinking a lot.. about somthing.. and wandering what if.. if things would become a bit clearer.. sometimes do you simply accept what you now have or do you wish you could have done something in the past to change what you have now.. or rather.. what you do not have now.. how should your feelings be.. should it be one of regret.. saying that i should have tried harder.. or should i look back and convince myself that its a good thing fate didnt happen the way i wanted it to.. have you ever felt like you've thrown away everything you've worked for.. if i could change who i am.. would things be different.. if i had stopped thinking and start doing a bit more.. would things be different.. sometimes you wish an angel would appear to you and give you all the answers you want.. then your heart and feelings dont have to go spinning around wondering about what you want to know.. i want answers.. but most answers i get dont satisfy what i want to know.. three-quarters of a year gone.. a roller coaster of emotions.. happiness, doubts, hope, crushing pain.. if my life was being acted out on stage.. i would rather stand on the side and watch whats happening.. than to actually take part in it.. because with each passing day.. i get more confused.. i keep dreaming more.. and i keep wondering.. what if i had done something then to change the present..